Why should you want to control your thoughts? As the old adage goes, you are what you think. If you cannot control your thoughts, your thoughts will control you.

When other people say things that bring a negative thought into your head, you need to control whether you let it stay there. If you don’t have that control, your brain will start to build other thoughts off of that initial thought; whether it was true or not.

How do you start controlling your thoughts? First of all you need to know that it is possible. Next, if you have a thought that you should not keep, do not talk about that thought. Proverbs 30:32 says, “If thou hast done foolishly in lifting up thyself, or if thou hast thought evil, lay thine hand upon thy mouth.” Saying something about that thought only reinforces it.

You need to rebuke the thought and tell it to go away. That’s easier said than done, especially if you are not in the habit of doing it.

The bible calls this casting down our thoughts. 2Co 10:5 says, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ”. God would not tell us to do something that we could not do. We need to ask Him for help when it comes to doing this. We also need to be persistent. At the beginning we may need to do this many times.

After casting down those thoughts we need to replace them with correct thoughts. In Php 4:8 it says, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

When someone has said something against you that has made you mad, you need to pray for them. This will get your focus off of yourself and onto what God wants you to do.

Once you have successfully controlled your thoughts for a while, it will become easier. You will be able to look back on past victories and that will help you through your current situation.

Don’t give in to your negative thoughts. They will destroy you. Cast them out. Replace them with what God wants you to think about. Make this a habit and your life will definitely improve.

During our lifetime, our triumphs and achievements are tempered by our failures and disappointments. Everything in our life has its seasons. And as the song reminds us, “… along with the sunshine, there must be a little rain sometimes …”

Our faith and belief in Jesus Christ is not tested when we march along life’s victory path, basking in the accolades of our fellowmen, but it can be severely dented when we are at the receiving end of life’s blows.

At these moments, when we touch the troughs in life’s ocean, it is essential to hold fast to our faith and belief, and not walk away from our failures and disappointments, like the two followers of Jesus on the road to Emmaus.

On the very day of Christ’s victory over death, these two persons walked away from Jerusalem, the scene of His crucifixion, an event that put to rest their ill-conceived hopes of Israel’s freedom from the Roman yoke (Lk 24 : 21). They believed in Jesus, but they could not accept His resurrection, and certain other things foretold in the Scriptures.

In times of defeats, failures and disappointments, most of us fail to rise above our hurts, pain and tears, to be aware that Jesus is still with us. Like the two on the road to Emmaus, we still believe in Jesus, but our faith is weakened so much by our failures and disappointments that we fail to recognize Him (Lk 24 : 16).

It was only when Jesus explained to His two followers what the Scriptures said about Him, right from the beginning of time (Genesis), that their eyes were opened, they recognized Him, and immediately returned to Jerusalem, to rejoin the disciples gathered there (Lk 24 : 31 – 33).

Therefore, when failures and disappointments come our way, we need to increase our faith and belief by turning to the Scriptures. The Word of God will ignite a fire within us, to increase our spirituality to a level that allows us to recognize Jesus totally in our life, and cry out to Him for help.

Although He knows our problems, the Lord never forces Himself upon us. On reaching Emmaus, Jesus indicated that He was going farther, but remained with His followers only because they insisted on His company (Lk 24 : 28 – 29).

The Lord waits for us to ask Him to solve our problems, and only when we place them totally into His hands does He respond instantly to mitigate our failures and disappointments.

The same way that not doing physical exercise will cause your body to get out of shape, not doing spiritual exercise will cause your spirit to get out of shape. It is easy to let the day to day concerns fill up your life and take away from the time you need to stay spiritually fit. Here are some things to do to help you to get back into spiritual shape.

1. Study the Word
There are many places in the Bible where it says to continuously study the Word. Phrases such as “Study to show thyself approved unto God” and “in his law doth he meditate day and night” tells us this. We need to stay constantly in God’s Word so we can avoid the ups and downs that most people go through. This does not mean you will not have trials, but you will be in contact with God who knows what you should do to go through those trials. This leads into step 2.

2. Endure Hardship
When you do have trials, get tough. Read the Bible more, not less. Pray more, not less. Shout more words of victory, not words of defeat. This is when you need to keep up your shield of faith. Keep trusting in God’s Word. He will pull you through.

3. Be Strong in the Grace of God
It has been said that grace is God’s unmerited favor or God not giving to us what we deserve. This is part of it but there is a lot more to it. Titus 2:11-12 says that grace has appeared to all men teaching us that we should deny ungodliness and live soberly, righteously in this world. So, at the same time God is not punishing us for what we have done wrong, He is teaching us what we should be doing. To know what God is saying to us, though, we need to be listening to Him. Spend some time each day praying and listening to God for instructions for the day.

4. Simplify Your Life
There are many things that take up our time including work, school, extracurricular activities, family time and many other activities. These activities may not be bad things but if they take up so much of your time that you do not have time for God, then you need to make some adjustments. You need to have time each day to pray and read your Bible so God can speak to you and direct you.

5. Fellowship
The people you fellowship with will determine whether you are lifted up or pulled down. You need to fellowship with people who trust God. That will build you up and help you to stay close to God.
If you spend more time with people who do not know God, they will drag you down. This does not mean you are to isolate yourself from the world, but you need to make sure you spend enough time with God and those who know God so you can lift up others without being dragged down.

6. Continue On
Now that you have started on the path to spiritual fitness, you need to keep on. Do not give in to temptations to quit. Continue doing what you know to do. The result will be a life overcoming those things that come against you and living a victorious life.

Just as willpower is an essential factor in achieving success, at some point in time, discouragement and lack of motivation may hinder you from reaching your objective. And it is up to you, and you alone to devise techniques that will help you keep that drive within afire.

It is helpful to have visual goals. whatsoever that is you are working towards, make it visual. It maybe something material like a car, or a vacation you have been looking forward to for the longest time.

Take or cut out a picture of it and post it at a conspicuous place at work or at home where you can see it often. So that when you feel discouraged, this will remind you of your goal and will help you keep your spotlight.

Make a contract with oneself. According to motivational researches, people who write down to-do-lists are far more triumphant in achieving their intended goals than those people who just keep mental lists instead.

Putting something in writing somehow makes it more powerful psychologically speaking. This may also be the basis why most cultures have such a high regard in honoring contracts. In the contract, you may also include a certain reward that you will give yourself once you have accomplished the task.

After all, everyone likes to be rewarded for completing a good job. Even a simple pat on the back, “good job”, or “thank you” may do the trick to give the person the additional push to carry on, but unfortunately, these may not always be readily available. Considering that these are also essential in keeping oneself motivated, you must learn to find a way to get that encouragement on your own through pleasing yourself.

Abusive people lower your self-esteem and bring you down. Get these negative people out of your life. Surround yourself with positive people. Imitate their example. Smile amply and think happy thoughts.

These will give you a brighter outlook and lets you see a clearer picture of what you really want and a fresh mind to know what steps to take to get there. Rather than wait for things to happen, try to be proactive and MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. Inactivity idles the brain and stagnates your potential to reach your goals.

Read inspirational books and literature. These will help you improve your attitude and heal your mind. A book of success stories also proves to be encouraging. You will not only learn from others’ experiences and derive confidence boosting insights from them but the story will be instrumental in motivating you to go for your goal and move ahead with your plans. If this still seems to falter, get training or education.

Oftentimes, not knowing how or where to start is frustrating. Knowledge is power. Having a clear understanding of how and where to start is empowering and it will provide the extra drive needed to hit the mark you are aiming at and follow it through.

Having enumerated all these tips and tricks to attain self-motivation, but still you seem to feel lacking that much needed drive, there is one last thing that you must try.

Whatever it is that you have been meaning to do, or wanting to achieve, JUST DO IT! Keep on aiming high and go for it! Actually getting your hands dirty best solves the problem of motivation. By “forcing” yourself to just do it, your momentum will pick up gradually as you go along and before you know it you have finished the task or have finally achieved your goal. Divide and conquer is the key.

Break down the apparently unattainable activity to small doable steps. Not only does it become less overwhelming, but seeing the “in the meantime” results will further your confidence that it can indeed be done.

Lack of motivation happens to us all, but if you do not encourage yourself to accept opportunities and be challenged, no one else will. It is most important to keep your eye on the goal, find ways to keep going, and in no time, you shall reap its benefits.

And if at the beginning you were just doing it for the material reward, you will also learn to realize that the fulfillment, satisfaction and self-achievement you derive from reaching your goal is a much enjoyable high that will keep the drive within constantly burning.

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I am going to ask you to do something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive, or negative?

Now let’s say you are walking down the street with these thoughts. Do you think anyone who would meet you would be able to tell you what’s on your mind?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here’s another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too – unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn’t end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.

A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others are around feel the same way.

A negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to feature healthy thoughts. This is probably very hard to do nowadays since, all around us, the media feeds us nothing but negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a saddening thought.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things, the positive things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say a word.
If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention. Before you get me wrong, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong itself. But dwelling on these thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome.

You do not have anything to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what’s not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.

Don’t be afraid of change. Change is good. You are going to go through so many changes in this lifetime. Accept this as a fact. Don’t be resistant to change. Embrace it.

God is actively involved in these changes and is with you every step of the way.

Your life today is different than your life was yesterday. Your life tomorrow will be different than today.

Take a moment to think about how different your life is today compared to 5 years ago.

God shows us that if we don’t change, we don’t reverence Him. As we grow in our relationship with God, we will deepen in our reverence, adoration, respect and worship of Him. We will grow to respect the boundaries to life that God lays out in the Bible. God wants you to change.

* Because they did not change, therefore they do not fear God. Psalm 55:19 (NKJV)

God is actively at work in completing the work that He has begun in you. This is going to require change.

* Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6 (NKJV)

We are going to go through so many things in this lifetime. Life is constantly throwing curve balls at us. But, we can be confident that there is a purpose in everything that we are experiencing.

God promises that everything, whether good or bad, works together for good.

* And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Romans 8:28-29 (NKJV)

The big change comes after we die. We are actually given a completely new body in Heaven.

* For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself. Philippians 3:20-21 (NKJV)

Isn’t it going to be amazing when we are in Heaven with Jesus with our new bodies?

Take a few minutes to reflect on all the changes that you have gone through in this lifetime. Now, spend a few minutes thinking about how life will be with Jesus in Heaven with our completely new heavenly bodies!

Embrace change knowing that one day you will be completely changed and living in Heaven for eternity with Jesus.

How do you want to initially react when someone does you wrong? Do you want to strike back or tell others about it? That may make you feel better for a while but it is not the thing to do.

God has given us a better way to respond. It may be hard at first to do it God’s way but look toward the end result and keep at it and it will become easier to do. Once you have gone through this process and have won a victory, it will be easier the next time, but it will still take effort.

What are we supposed to do? How do we start? We begin with rejoicing. Luke 6 says, “Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man’s sake. Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven…” (Verses 22-23).

The next step is to “Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, bless them that curse you, and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44).

This will help you get your focus off of yourself and onto God’s plan. Also, keep in mind who the real enemy is. The devil sends people to offend you and to steal the Word from you, to stop the anointing in you to do God’s work. Losing the anointing will block the blessings of God reaching you.

There are so many things God wants to do for you. But, if you keep resentment or do not forgive others, God will not be able to do those things. Psalm 91 talks about the Lord being our refuge and our fortress. It says that God will deliver us from every evil thing and will give his angels charge over us to keep us in all of our ways. But wait, if you look in the first verse of that chapter, it starts off by saying, “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty”. If you strike back at others and hold grudges against others, you will not be dwelling in that secret place and therefore forfeit God’s protection over you.

So, stay rooted in the Word of God. Remember that the temporary pleasure that you might get at striking back at others is not worth losing the anointing of God on your life and losing His blessings that He wants so much to give you.

We all go through periods of adversity and suffering. Some of them are mild and some are life changing. Problems are simply a part of life, and while we can’t eliminate adversity, we can learn how to cope with it.

Obstacles do not have to be insurmountable roadblocks on the pathway to success or happiness. They are simply a part of life. Problems are generally an indication that we have something to learn.

When everything is going wrong and the world feels like it is falling apart, anger is normally the first reaction. But this is the worst thing we can do. Losing our temper will rarely achieve the desired result.

More often than not, losing our temper does nothing more than make a bad situation worse. The reality is that we don’t really lose our temper, it’s more like we turn our temper loose.

Whenever life acts, we respond, and these responses are seldom planned. Reacting on impulse when things go wrong we tend to lash out at anything or anyone that has the misfortune of being close.

This doesn’t have to be the case. And our chance of resolving an issue is much greater if we keep from getting angry.

While we may not be responsible for everything that happens to us, we are responsible for how we react.

The mind is a very powerful tool, and if used properly, can be a very strong positive force in times of trouble. But in order for the mind to be its most productive, it must first be calm.

The ability to choose our thoughts, to THINK what we want, is what gives us the power to determine our attitude and perspective when approaching a problem.

If we allow anger, despair and frustration to consume us, it’s like a runaway train gathering steam and threatening to derail. The FIRST thing to do is quit feeding the fire. As our initial anger passes, our perspective begins to change.

Once our temper is under control, we begin attracting solutions, rather than allowing anger and frustration to compound our problems.

All of us have an inner voice that talks to us. Pay close attention to this voice because it has the power to make any situation better or worse.

This inner voice is the voice of our subconscious mind and will work for or against us with equal ease. Once anger and frustration are removed from the equation, the subconscious mind is free to help guide us toward a solution if we listen.

Our subconscious mind is the ultimate information filter, but it will provide its most useful solutions only when we are quiet. The subconscious is an obedient and able servant once it knows which direction we want to go.

Don’t shy away from problems. Sometimes the best way to inform the subconscious mind that we need a creative solution is to experience frustration in our conscious mind.

By using the conscious mind to define and clarify the problem, we leave it to the subconscious mind to guide our actions in solving it. When the subconscious is jogged by need, visualization or relaxation, it will release back to the conscious mind necessary and helpful information.

Thoughts and emotions act as magnets attracting similar thoughts and emotions.

When we approach our problems with the right attitude and have things in perspective, it will appear as though our problems begin to solve themselves.

Does your body language say you’re a good listener?

Sure, you listen when needed (or do you?), but do other people see you as a good listener? Listening skills are essential for good relationships and are also a critical skill in many professions, especially the helping professions. Whether you’re maintaining a happy marriage relationship, counseling someone with problems, or coaching members of your team for business success, good listening skills lead others to feel more comfortable. They will have more confidence in you and hold you in higher esteem.

Did you know that body language has a major impact on how people see you – even more impact than your words? So, what says ‘good listener’ and inspires in others who speak to you the confidence that you really are listening? Your body language, of course! Even if you really are listening to every word, you won’t be seen as a good listener unless you have the right body language.

The body language of a poor listener has many of these traits -leans away or even turns away slightly, arms folded, maybe a bit of impatient toe tapping, and frequently looking elsewhere. Or, if someone starts to read then you know for SURE they’re not listening! And of course if your body language suggests you don’t want to listen, the other person will feel less comfortable talking with you and will be less likely to confide in you. This is a good recipe for creating distance and miscommunication in a relationship.

The body language of a good listener shows five characteristics that can be remembered through the acronym “SOLER”.

S – Square-on
Face the other person square on. If you’re turned away, you won’t give the impression that you want to listen.

O – Open-posture
Folded legs, and particularly folded arms can be subconscious signals that you really don’t want to hear what the other person has to say.

L – Lean-towards
Lean slightly towards the other person. This indicates an interest in what they’re saying. Leaning away from a person tends to indicate disinterest.

E – Eye-contact
Maintain normal eye contact with the other person. If you keep your eyes down, or keep looking away, you can give the impression that you’re not a comfortable or willing listener.

R – Relax
Don’t be too formal or stiff. A relaxed posture suggests that you’re comfortable in the role of listener, and ready to hear everything the other person has to say.

So if you’d like to improve your relationships, on and off the job, start by practicing your listening body language and SOLER!

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What is love? We must first learn what love really is. The love that is discussed here is not the emotional love that people fall into and then fall out of. The best definition of love is explained in 2 John 6 which says, “And this is love, that we walk after his commandments. This is the commandment, that, as ye have heard from the beginning, ye should walk in it.”

This takes love as some hard to explain emotion and explains it in a more definitive way. If you follow God’s commandments you will be walking in love. We have been given the Bible so we can know what the commandments of God are. The first step is to learn what the will of God is and then act on it.

Learning to walk in love affects all areas of your life. The Bible says that faith works by love. Answered prayer is hindered when a believer steps out of love and does forgive.

Here are some characteristics of love which you can read about in First Corinthians 13:4-8. Love is patient and kind, is never envious, is not boastful, is not conceited, does not insist on its own way, is not resentful, pays no attention to wrong done to it. Love bears up under everything. Love never fails.

This may seem like something you could never attain but, as a child of God, you have been recreated into a spirit of love. You need to make the decision to perfect that love and then commit yourself to obey the Word of God.

There will be times when your senses and emotions will tell you one thing to do but the Word tells you something else to do. What you do at times like this will determine whether you grow in love or if you walk in selfishness. You need to remember back when you made the decision to walk in love and to ask God for wisdom and to do what the Word says to do. Both love and faith grow by action. When you do have a situation like this and you do the right thing and follow God’s love, it will build your love so you will have more strength the next time you have to make a hard decision.

It may seem that when you walk by love that you will never get anywhere because you are always putting others before yourself. You have to realize, though, that God said that love never fails and that he will see to it that you do not fail.

You need to stay in the Word, confess the Word and act on the Word. This will bring you close to God and then He will be able to direct your life and His Love working through you will be the basis of your success.