We live in a world filled by cruel and mean people. People who make caustic statements, utter cutting remarks and air unkind comments.

We live in a world of broken promises, broken marriages and broken homes.

It’s a world of never ending problems, filled with people who have lost their jobs because of peer jealousy and people who have been cheated out of their life’s savings.

It’s a world filled with children estranged from their parents and parents estranged from their children. It’s a world filled with families whose members don’t even speak to each other anymore, and close friends who have drifted apart.

Invariably, all the cruelty and meanness done to us leads us to anger and hatred, towards our tormentors. It leads us to bitterness, frustration and sleepless nights. Eventually, it leads to ulcers, high blood pressure, migraines, cancer, and lots more.

Modern psychology and medical research has proved, beyond any doubt, that most sickness in man is due to broken relationships. Painful memories and thoughts destroy us and make us sick. So does rejection and hurtful words from our family, friends and colleagues.

Scientists and researchers tell us that there are numerous health hazards associated with anger, hatred and bitterness. They say it increases blood pressure and leads to hormonal changes which eventually result in cardiovascular disease, immune suppression, and possibly, impaired neurological function and memory loss.

There is a close relationship between emotions and disease. It is a fact that 90% of diseases are pneumo-psychosomatic. So, although we run to doctors and hospitals, and spend loads of money, we get no relief. We have to realize that the only real cure for our malady is total forgiveness of our perceived tormentors.

Forgive my tormentors? Yes, for this is the only way to release them from your life and set yourself free. It’s not easy to forgive people who have hurt you and caused you so much pain, but it’s possible if we focus on Jesus Christ hanging on the cross at Golgotha.

What happened that day was unforgivable, but no finer, purer or better example of can you find than Jesus, hanging on the cross, close to death, praying to His Father in heaven to forgive the very people who were putting Him to death!

Condemned to death by these evil men who wanted Him dead, convicted by lying witnesses who testified falsely against Him, Jesus looked down on the mob who were taunting, mocking, jeering and cheering His sufferings, and the only truly innocent and sinless man who ever walked this sinful earth, uttered words that still melt the hardened hearts of sinners: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Lk 23 : 34).

These dozen words still ring across 2,000 years, and shatter into smithereens all our lame excuses for not forgiving those who ill-treat us and hurt us, for continuing to carry our burdens of bitterness, anger, and our desire for vengeance.

Forgiveness is never easy. But, it becomes easier when we realize that forgiveness is not about us, and it’s not about those who hurt us. Forgiveness is all about God.

Jesus said, “If you forgive others the wrongs they have done you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done” (Matt 6 : 14 – 15). Then He went ahead and put into practice what He had preached, on the cross at Golgotha.

Your forgiveness doesn’t depend on the person who you wish to forgive. You don’t need their permission to forgive them. You neither need their approval nor their agreement that they were wrong.

“God said there’s a seed that’s been planted in your heart. You either hate and be angry, or you forgive.

Today, we live in a world of plastic cards, especially Credit cards and ATM cards. When we need money we go to the Automatic Teller Machine and withdraw what we need. We have instant money in our hands. That’s why we call them Any Time Money cards.

But, few of us know that in our hearts we have an automatic dispensing machine, too, and it responds only to our Any Time Mercy card. So, choose forgiveness in your heart, flash your Any Time Mercy card, forgive your tormentors, and move on to a healthy and stress-free life.

OK you have made it through 2009, and you are now in 2010. What are you going to do in the new year. In order for you to go somewhere or better yourself, you must have a plan. You must set goals. Amy Twain has laid out some great thoughts on this matter take a look.

The Power To Empower Yourself
by: Amy Twain

A set of goals would empower you and you could then proceed to begin and follow your journey or voyage by setting your desired goals. Goal setting is indeed very necessary if you would like to empower yourself, as it is the initial step towards a more satisfying and fulfilling life. So to use personal empowerment to develop and further enhance your life, ample support from family, friends and relatives are essential and you need discipline as well to create and come up with the right and best decision in your life. Goal setting could be in the form of the achievable and the feasible and also, those which are not within your ability and your budget but that could be addressed later.

Personal empowerment will allow you to follow the dreams that are not within your means now. Take those small steps and set attainable and reachable goals within a brief time frame so that you would feel empowered when you accomplish them. Achieving goals become easier as you pursue and persist to empower yourself. You could take your time to experience your growth personally as it can be very empowering to aspire to move on and be more in life. There are several rewards you can reap to personal empowerment but you really need to think forward as goal setting would enhance your life for the better and likewise help you to attain more.

Inspiring moments are also helpful and it could enliven you more and move on to pursue and foresee more personal goals. As you pursue and reach every small goal, you can see positive and better changes in you and the succeeding set of goals become more and more challenging. You would begin to look forward to it and personal empowerment would form a life you truly desire and always dreamed about. Every personal growth would heighten and intensify your sense of power and ideas and ambition are no longer out of reach. You may also need to map out a group or team of action to handle with the several obstacles in life as they delay and postpone one’s progress.

Always bear in mind to keep pushing yourself and think positive at all times, as they can be so empowering. Get rid of the negative vibrations and feelings. It will take time, yet try to make it a routine to think more on a positive note. Turning negative into something optimistic is a good distinctive feature and never, ever giving up as endurance and perseverance and patient and tolerant in overcoming the many barriers and hindrances, and always looking forward is truly important to empower oneself. To create something out of your own life, there are myriad of ways out there but each begins with a small step.

To begin empowering yourself, you have to do things which truly interest you and along the way, you would be the person ever you will hold in high regard. Don’t stop empowering yourself because your personal empowerment and growth as a person will bring about self worth and positive image.

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Anger is an impulsive outburst of emotion that often occurs without conscious thought. Normally, a mentally healthy person does not react as negatively as someone who is angry does because a mentally healthy person is able to control his emotions. He is able to think rationally; thus, it can be said that sometimes, anger is a sign of mental illness.
To make matters worse, anger can be destructive. If truth be told, it is in fact oftentimes destructive. It causes harm not just to other people, but to properties, as well as to yourself. Road accidents happen sometimes because of anger. People hurt each other or even kill one another because of anger. Crimes of passion are also the result of severe anger. Sometimes, people inflict pain on themselves and others even commit suicide because of anger.
A person who is angry by and large suffers from high blood pressure, and nervous and muscular tension. There is also some degree of loss in the normal function of the different systems of your body. All these things can make you think of yourself in a rather negative way.
Anger is something that should not be taken lightly at all. As you can see, there is nothing good about being angry at all. Externally, there is a lot of damage done to others; internally, you suffer a great deal, too, because nobody in his right mind will rejoice in the feeling of being angry. You are not proud of the fact that you have hurt somebody.
Sometimes, after taking a long look at the situation, you wish you could have changed things but you know you can’t anymore; instead, you lapse into a state of depression or worse, despair. The moment you despair, you lose hope, and from this you can see that being angry is no laughing matter indeed.
Anger is nothing else but a weakness of character. It means that you do not have what it takes to control your emotions. You allow yourself to be controlled instead of being the one controlling and taking the driver’s seat.
Anger should be checked because it is infectious. It has been written somewhere that a kind word can calm a situation, but an angry outburst can spark another negative reaction. Perhaps, it is human nature that you give the other person a dose of his own medicine, so to speak. Nonetheless, this only goes to show that such an outburst can only make matters worse.
If you are a parent, therefore, it is important that you know how to cope with anger, especially in the upbringing of your children. Normally, you would want your children to grow up in a peaceful environment and to develop enough self confidence and self-control so that they will be able to stand up on their own in the future.
A person who is in control of the situation and especially of himself is said to be in a state of good mental health, and naturally, you would not want anything less for your child or for yourself.

What does it mean to seek first the kingdom of God? How do you do it? There is much to this, but the following goes into one aspect of it. Here is the verse for reference.

Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, With what shall we be clothed? For after all these things do the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.
(Mat 6:31-33)

These verses say that your needs can be met if you seek first the kingdom of God. What does this really mean? Many people put this into practice by reading the bible and praying first thing in the morning. Many even get up earlier so they have time to do this.

For many people, though, it ends there. They go about the rest of the day and do not even think about God. Also, with this schedule, what happens when they get up late? What usually gets cut? It’s their bible reading and prayer time.

Instead of only doing morning devotions, you should seek God first in everything you do, all day long. How do you do that? Acknowledge Him, talk to Him, praise Him, and ask Him for help and guidance. As you are getting ready for work, thank God for all that He has given you. Thank Him for everything going smoothly and for good traffic so you make it to work on time and being calm and peaceful when you get there.

At work, thank Him for your job. It may not be the perfect job, but thank Him for it anyway and do your best job. If you run into a problem, instead of complaining and worrying, say “God, you have not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. Help me Lord to know what to do in this situation.”

God is always talking to us, but we are not always listening. When we do listen, many times we do not do what He says. So, we need to listen and obey, all day long.

Seeking God first should also include the plans and goals for your life, your relationships and even your recreation. God has a plan for your life. When followed, that plan will have the best possible outcome. You need to know that God is Love and anything that He has for you is for your best interest. The problem is that many people come up with their own plans and then want God to bless it. Well, folks, it doesn’t work that way. You need to seek God first in your plan making, find out what God wants you to do and then go do it.

In conclusion, do not make God part of a list that you do first thing in the morning and then check it off and then go about the rest of your day without Him. Include Him in everything you do.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
(Pro 3:6)

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Hater/ By Maya Angelou

A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their time
trying to make you look small so they can look tall.
They are very negative people to say the least.  Nothing is ever good
enough!

When you make your mark,  you will always attract some haters…

That’s why you have to be careful with whom you share your blessings and
your dreams, because some folk can’t handle seeing you blessed…

It’s dangerous to be like somebody else…. If God wanted you to be like
somebody else,  He would have given you what He gave them!  Right?

You never know what people have gone through to get what they have…

The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory,  but they
don’t know my story…

If the grass  looks  greener on the other side of the fence,  you can
rest assured that the water bill is higher there too!

We’ve all got some haters among us!

Some people envy you because you can:
a) Have a relationship with God
b) Light up a room when you walk in
c) Start your own business
d) Tell a man / woman to hit the curb
(if he / she isn’t about the right thing)
e) Raise your children without both parents being
in the home

Haters can’t stand to see you happy.
Haters will never want to see you succeed.
Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be on our side.

How do you handle your undercover haters?
You can handle these haters by:

1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are
*(VERY IMPORTANT!!)

2. Having a purpose to your life: Purpose does not
mean having a job.. You can have a job and still be
unfulfilled.

A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be.
Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.

3. By remembering what you have is by divine
prerogative and not human manipulation.

Fulfill your dreams!  You only have one life to live…when its your
time to leave this earth, you ‘want’ to be able to say, ‘I’ve lived my
life and fulfilled ‘my’ dreams,… Now I’m ready to go HOME!

When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, ‘Don’t look at
me…..Look at Who is in charge of me…’

Pass this to all of your family & friends who you know are not hating on
you including the person who sent it to you.

If you don’t get it back, maybe you called somebody out!
Don’t worry about it, it’s not your problem, it’s theirs..
Just pray for them, that their life can be as fulfilled as yours! Watch
out for Haters…BUT most of all don’t become a HATER!

‘A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to
seek Him first to find her.’

Maya Angelou

“The birth of Christ brought God to man; the cross of Christ brings man
to God.”

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Critical darts. At some point in our lives, every Christian, in fact every person has to deal with criticism. You may feel as though you have been placed on a dartboard and everyone is taking turns throwing the darts at you.

Why do people feel the need to criticize? Many people criticize because they feel a loss of control. They would rather do a task wrong than to do it someone else way.

In Neh:4, we read that Nehamiah has taken on the task of rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem. When Sanballet heard this, he immediately began criticizing. “Tobiah the Ammonite, who was at his side, said, “What they are building–if even a fox climbed up on it, he would break down their wall of stones!” (NEH 4:3)

How do you feel when you are criticized? Angry? Depressed? Betrayed? Not everyone feels the same way. More than that, how do you respond? How is your Temper?  Do you react with Violence?

Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” How you respond to criticism tells more about you than the critic. You should consider the possible influences that could be causing their behavior.

Unless you own your own business, you probably have had to deal with bosses at your job. While some are fair and reasonable, some seem to relish in ridicule and criticism. Have you ever considered why?

Perhaps they are feeling pressure from the top. Or maybe their personal lives are falling apart. Many times, the pursuit of advancement overcomes them and allows Satan to influence their behavior.

It is possible that they need your prayers instead of your anger. At the very least, you can help defuse a situation with a gentle answer instead of harsh words.

But what if the roles are reversed? Instead of being criticized, many of us become the critic, often without even realizing it.

In Matthew 27, when Jesus was brought before Pilate for judgment, he washed his hands of the responsibility because he found no evidence to convict Jesus (Matt 27:24). Yet Jesus was crucified anyway based on hearsay and false testimony.

Every human is a creation of God and deserves to be treated fairly. Before you spread that rumor criticizing someone, check out the facts first. Without doing so, you become no better than the ones who crucified Jesus.

Dealing with criticism is a two way street. Do not get caught going the wrong way.

Going the extra mile means giving better service with a positive mental attitude above and beyond what is expected. This is an important principle of success in all walks of life and occupations.

NATURE ALWAYS GOES THE EXTRA MILE

Nature applies this principle in the production of foods that grow from the soil. The farmer is forced to go the extra mile, clearing the land, plowing it and planting the seed at the right time of the year.

He receives no pay in advance for his labor but he works in harmony with nature’s laws with the necessary requirements. Nature takes over and germinates the seed he plants and develops it into a crop of food.

For every grain of wheat or corn planted, nature yields hundreds of grains. Nature goes the extra mile by producing enough of every living thing to ensure the survival of the species. Nature discourages the habit of getting something for nothing!

IN THE ANIMAL WORLD THERE IS NO FREE LUNCH

Animals in the wild must either forage for leaves and berries or hunt down their prey to survive. Nature supplies the source of food for every living thing but every creature must WORK to obtain that food.

GOING THE EXTRA MILE IN THE WORKPLACE

An efficient and courteous server in a restaurant is a prime
example of going the extra mile. Most people will notice the extra attention along with good service and leave a generous tip. Anyone may earn a living without going the extra mile but they will not enjoy the economic security and luxuries.

Colonel Sanders of ‘Kentucky Fried Chicken’ fame pitched his famous recipe over a thousand times before it was picked up and promoted. We all know the rest of the story! Had he given up at any time he would have been stuck with his minimal monthly pension. The Colonel proved that going the extra mile with a positive mental attitude will help anyone achieve their goals.

ADVANTAGES OF GOING THE EXTRA MILE

Job security when employment is scarce

Extra compensation for services rendered

Builds a positive mental attitude

Develops personal initiative

Has a positive effect on co-workers and employees

Helps to develop a definite purpose

Creates a sense of direction in life

Prevents procrastination

Helps to keep a clear conscience

Stimulates the soul

So if you go the extra mile and make it a daily habit you will stand out in a crowd and enjoy endless success for the rest of your life!

Self-confidence is a general and realistic belief in one’s own abilities. Self-confident people trust in their own ability to achieve goals that they plan and set out to achieve. This belief needs to be realistic. Self-confidence does not mean that an individual can achieve anything and everything, even absurd goals. It simply means that the person will have a sense of control over his own destiny, a positive frame of mind and is likely to make the best use of his talents and skills in achieving positive outcomes.

Achieving self-confidence is a fine balance. Lack of self-confidence or under-confidence will result in an individual doubting his abilities. Such people seek the approval of others for reassurance. They believe they have to conform to the expectations of others to fit in and be accepted. They will tend to avoid taking risks for fear of failure. They expect to fail and this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy!

Under-confident people tend to under-achieve since they have a low estimation of their abilities and therefore will not push their boundaries to achieve their best. They also tend to play down their abilities and is often uncomfortable dealing with compliments – usually discounting them.

On the other hand over confidence is not desirable either, as such individuals may tend to have unrealistically high expectations and beliefs in their abilities and therefore take unwarranted risks.

Self-confidence is not necessarily all-pervasive. An individual who is completely comfortable and confident in one area of activity, say his work or profession may lack confidence in other areas such as social situations.

What factors contribute to lack of confidence?

Lack of confidence is often the result of unrealistic expectations. Constantly aiming for perfection is a certain recipe for failure that reinforces feelings of inadequacy. Children who grow up in excessively protective environments and are not allowed to develop their independence may tend to be less confident than others who are allowed to develop their own abilities and self-reliance. Similarly over critical and demanding parents may undermine a child’s self-confidence and cause them to continually doubt their abilities even in adult life.

What steps can be taken to improve self-confidence?

Low self-esteem and low self-confidence are perpetuated by unhelpful and often destructive thought patterns. Self-confidence may be improved by identifying the offending thinking habits and taking steps to correct them. For instance seeking acceptance and approval from everyone may be an unrealistic expectation. The fact is that in day-to-day life one will encounter people that will never approve of every aspect of your life. It is far more beneficial to set personal standards which are not dependent on the approval of others.

Under confident people are quite often their own worst critics. They are quick to brand themselves failures at the slightest obstacle. It is important to remember that even the most successful people encounter setbacks. What sets them apart is how they deal with that setback and venture into the future. A setback or failure in the past need not dictate the course of your entire future. However, if at the first sign of failure you label yourself a total failure, chances are that’s exactly what you will be! Evaluate your expectations – Are they realistic? Don’t be overly critical of yourself. Refuse to accept the criticisms of others where it is unrealistic.

Give yourself credit for what you do achieve rather than focusing solely on the negatives. Resist the temptation to magnify negative outcomes out of proportion while minimizing positives.

Persons with low self-esteem avoid risks and may therefore never truly find out what they are capable of. Taking calculated risks can broaden one’s horizons and help to gain greater self-awareness and acceptance.

Evaluate your standards – substitute more reasonable expectations for perfectionist targets that are bound for failure. Build up to more challenging targets as your confidence grows.

Self-consciousness is a major hurdle to self-confidence especially in social situations. Diverting attention away from you can help to diffuse this situation. Keeping yourself occupied with other activities or focusing on the purpose of the social encounter and engaging your mind on furthering that social purpose can achieve this. Not having enough to keep your mind occupied is guaranteed to produce feelings of self-consciousness leading to feelings of anxiety, inadequacy and lack of confidence.

These are just a few steps that may be taken to improve levels of self-confidence. Clearly it is just the tip of a very large iceberg and the most appropriate measures would of course need to be determined by individual circumstances.