Critical darts. At some point in our lives, every Christian, in fact every person has to deal with criticism. You may feel as though you have been placed on a dartboard and everyone is taking turns throwing the darts at you.

Why do people feel the need to criticize? Many people criticize because they feel a loss of control. They would rather do a task wrong than to do it someone else way.

In Neh:4, we read that Nehamiah has taken on the task of rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem. When Sanballet heard this, he immediately began criticizing. “Tobiah the Ammonite, who was at his side, said, “What they are building–if even a fox climbed up on it, he would break down their wall of stones!” (NEH 4:3)

How do you feel when you are criticized? Angry? Depressed? Betrayed? Not everyone feels the same way. More than that, how do you respond? How is your Temper?  Do you react with Violence?

Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” How you respond to criticism tells more about you than the critic. You should consider the possible influences that could be causing their behavior.

Unless you own your own business, you probably have had to deal with bosses at your job. While some are fair and reasonable, some seem to relish in ridicule and criticism. Have you ever considered why?

Perhaps they are feeling pressure from the top. Or maybe their personal lives are falling apart. Many times, the pursuit of advancement overcomes them and allows Satan to influence their behavior.

It is possible that they need your prayers instead of your anger. At the very least, you can help defuse a situation with a gentle answer instead of harsh words.

But what if the roles are reversed? Instead of being criticized, many of us become the critic, often without even realizing it.

In Matthew 27, when Jesus was brought before Pilate for judgment, he washed his hands of the responsibility because he found no evidence to convict Jesus (Matt 27:24). Yet Jesus was crucified anyway based on hearsay and false testimony.

Every human is a creation of God and deserves to be treated fairly. Before you spread that rumor criticizing someone, check out the facts first. Without doing so, you become no better than the ones who crucified Jesus.

Dealing with criticism is a two way street. Do not get caught going the wrong way.

During our lifetime, our triumphs and achievements are tempered by our failures and disappointments. Everything in our life has its seasons. And as the song reminds us, “… along with the sunshine, there must be a little rain sometimes …”

Our faith and belief in Jesus Christ is not tested when we march along life’s victory path, basking in the accolades of our fellowmen, but it can be severely dented when we are at the receiving end of life’s blows.

At these moments, when we touch the troughs in life’s ocean, it is essential to hold fast to our faith and belief, and not walk away from our failures and disappointments, like the two followers of Jesus on the road to Emmaus.

On the very day of Christ’s victory over death, these two persons walked away from Jerusalem, the scene of His crucifixion, an event that put to rest their ill-conceived hopes of Israel’s freedom from the Roman yoke (Lk 24 : 21). They believed in Jesus, but they could not accept His resurrection, and certain other things foretold in the Scriptures.

In times of defeats, failures and disappointments, most of us fail to rise above our hurts, pain and tears, to be aware that Jesus is still with us. Like the two on the road to Emmaus, we still believe in Jesus, but our faith is weakened so much by our failures and disappointments that we fail to recognize Him (Lk 24 : 16).

It was only when Jesus explained to His two followers what the Scriptures said about Him, right from the beginning of time (Genesis), that their eyes were opened, they recognized Him, and immediately returned to Jerusalem, to rejoin the disciples gathered there (Lk 24 : 31 – 33).

Therefore, when failures and disappointments come our way, we need to increase our faith and belief by turning to the Scriptures. The Word of God will ignite a fire within us, to increase our spirituality to a level that allows us to recognize Jesus totally in our life, and cry out to Him for help.

Although He knows our problems, the Lord never forces Himself upon us. On reaching Emmaus, Jesus indicated that He was going farther, but remained with His followers only because they insisted on His company (Lk 24 : 28 – 29).

The Lord waits for us to ask Him to solve our problems, and only when we place them totally into His hands does He respond instantly to mitigate our failures and disappointments.

I am going to ask you to do something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive, or negative?

Now let’s say you are walking down the street with these thoughts. Do you think anyone who would meet you would be able to tell you what’s on your mind?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here’s another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too – unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn’t end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.

A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others are around feel the same way.

A negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to feature healthy thoughts. This is probably very hard to do nowadays since, all around us, the media feeds us nothing but negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a saddening thought.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things, the positive things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say a word.
If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention. Before you get me wrong, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong itself. But dwelling on these thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome.

You do not have anything to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what’s not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.

Don’t be afraid of change. Change is good. You are going to go through so many changes in this lifetime. Accept this as a fact. Don’t be resistant to change. Embrace it.

God is actively involved in these changes and is with you every step of the way.

Your life today is different than your life was yesterday. Your life tomorrow will be different than today.

Take a moment to think about how different your life is today compared to 5 years ago.

God shows us that if we don’t change, we don’t reverence Him. As we grow in our relationship with God, we will deepen in our reverence, adoration, respect and worship of Him. We will grow to respect the boundaries to life that God lays out in the Bible. God wants you to change.

* Because they did not change, therefore they do not fear God. Psalm 55:19 (NKJV)

God is actively at work in completing the work that He has begun in you. This is going to require change.

* Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6 (NKJV)

We are going to go through so many things in this lifetime. Life is constantly throwing curve balls at us. But, we can be confident that there is a purpose in everything that we are experiencing.

God promises that everything, whether good or bad, works together for good.

* And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Romans 8:28-29 (NKJV)

The big change comes after we die. We are actually given a completely new body in Heaven.

* For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself. Philippians 3:20-21 (NKJV)

Isn’t it going to be amazing when we are in Heaven with Jesus with our new bodies?

Take a few minutes to reflect on all the changes that you have gone through in this lifetime. Now, spend a few minutes thinking about how life will be with Jesus in Heaven with our completely new heavenly bodies!

Embrace change knowing that one day you will be completely changed and living in Heaven for eternity with Jesus.

How do you want to initially react when someone does you wrong? Do you want to strike back or tell others about it? That may make you feel better for a while but it is not the thing to do.

God has given us a better way to respond. It may be hard at first to do it God’s way but look toward the end result and keep at it and it will become easier to do. Once you have gone through this process and have won a victory, it will be easier the next time, but it will still take effort.

What are we supposed to do? How do we start? We begin with rejoicing. Luke 6 says, “Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man’s sake. Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven…” (Verses 22-23).

The next step is to “Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, bless them that curse you, and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44).

This will help you get your focus off of yourself and onto God’s plan. Also, keep in mind who the real enemy is. The devil sends people to offend you and to steal the Word from you, to stop the anointing in you to do God’s work. Losing the anointing will block the blessings of God reaching you.

There are so many things God wants to do for you. But, if you keep resentment or do not forgive others, God will not be able to do those things. Psalm 91 talks about the Lord being our refuge and our fortress. It says that God will deliver us from every evil thing and will give his angels charge over us to keep us in all of our ways. But wait, if you look in the first verse of that chapter, it starts off by saying, “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty”. If you strike back at others and hold grudges against others, you will not be dwelling in that secret place and therefore forfeit God’s protection over you.

So, stay rooted in the Word of God. Remember that the temporary pleasure that you might get at striking back at others is not worth losing the anointing of God on your life and losing His blessings that He wants so much to give you.

Does your body language say you’re a good listener?

Sure, you listen when needed (or do you?), but do other people see you as a good listener? Listening skills are essential for good relationships and are also a critical skill in many professions, especially the helping professions. Whether you’re maintaining a happy marriage relationship, counseling someone with problems, or coaching members of your team for business success, good listening skills lead others to feel more comfortable. They will have more confidence in you and hold you in higher esteem.

Did you know that body language has a major impact on how people see you – even more impact than your words? So, what says ‘good listener’ and inspires in others who speak to you the confidence that you really are listening? Your body language, of course! Even if you really are listening to every word, you won’t be seen as a good listener unless you have the right body language.

The body language of a poor listener has many of these traits -leans away or even turns away slightly, arms folded, maybe a bit of impatient toe tapping, and frequently looking elsewhere. Or, if someone starts to read then you know for SURE they’re not listening! And of course if your body language suggests you don’t want to listen, the other person will feel less comfortable talking with you and will be less likely to confide in you. This is a good recipe for creating distance and miscommunication in a relationship.

The body language of a good listener shows five characteristics that can be remembered through the acronym “SOLER”.

S – Square-on
Face the other person square on. If you’re turned away, you won’t give the impression that you want to listen.

O – Open-posture
Folded legs, and particularly folded arms can be subconscious signals that you really don’t want to hear what the other person has to say.

L – Lean-towards
Lean slightly towards the other person. This indicates an interest in what they’re saying. Leaning away from a person tends to indicate disinterest.

E – Eye-contact
Maintain normal eye contact with the other person. If you keep your eyes down, or keep looking away, you can give the impression that you’re not a comfortable or willing listener.

R – Relax
Don’t be too formal or stiff. A relaxed posture suggests that you’re comfortable in the role of listener, and ready to hear everything the other person has to say.

So if you’d like to improve your relationships, on and off the job, start by practicing your listening body language and SOLER!

Link Market – Free Link Exchange, Link Building and Link Trade Directory
Have you ever tried to exchange links, link building, or trade links? Was it hard? Use link market instead; – it is easy to use, free and very smart. It will save you hours of work.

What is love? We must first learn what love really is. The love that is discussed here is not the emotional love that people fall into and then fall out of. The best definition of love is explained in 2 John 6 which says, “And this is love, that we walk after his commandments. This is the commandment, that, as ye have heard from the beginning, ye should walk in it.”

This takes love as some hard to explain emotion and explains it in a more definitive way. If you follow God’s commandments you will be walking in love. We have been given the Bible so we can know what the commandments of God are. The first step is to learn what the will of God is and then act on it.

Learning to walk in love affects all areas of your life. The Bible says that faith works by love. Answered prayer is hindered when a believer steps out of love and does forgive.

Here are some characteristics of love which you can read about in First Corinthians 13:4-8. Love is patient and kind, is never envious, is not boastful, is not conceited, does not insist on its own way, is not resentful, pays no attention to wrong done to it. Love bears up under everything. Love never fails.

This may seem like something you could never attain but, as a child of God, you have been recreated into a spirit of love. You need to make the decision to perfect that love and then commit yourself to obey the Word of God.

There will be times when your senses and emotions will tell you one thing to do but the Word tells you something else to do. What you do at times like this will determine whether you grow in love or if you walk in selfishness. You need to remember back when you made the decision to walk in love and to ask God for wisdom and to do what the Word says to do. Both love and faith grow by action. When you do have a situation like this and you do the right thing and follow God’s love, it will build your love so you will have more strength the next time you have to make a hard decision.

It may seem that when you walk by love that you will never get anywhere because you are always putting others before yourself. You have to realize, though, that God said that love never fails and that he will see to it that you do not fail.

You need to stay in the Word, confess the Word and act on the Word. This will bring you close to God and then He will be able to direct your life and His Love working through you will be the basis of your success.

Forgetting things can help you go from failure to success. Most people would say it is remembering things that would help you succeed. Although that is true, there are many things we need to forget. What you need to forget are your past sins and bad things others have done to you. If you do not forget these thoughts, they will hold you back and even cause you to live a miserable life.

Paul, one of the outstanding figures in the New Testament says in Philippians 3:13-14 “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus”.

For Paul, this was an amazing feat. Recall that Paul, before being saved, persecuted Christians and was a major factor in many of their deaths. Just imagine how these memories could have haunted him. But Paul learned how to forget supernaturally. How did he do that? How do we do it?

Paul gives us the answer in 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds,) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; and having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience…”.

We are guided through life by our thoughts. What you think about will direct what you say. What you say will direct your actions. When you have thoughts that come against you, you need to do what the Bible says to do. Cast down those thoughts and replace them with what God wants you to think about.

To help with this process, here are three things to remember.

First, your sins are none of the devil’s business. The devil will remind you of your past sins and will even try to get you to think it is God reminding you of them. Rebuke the devil, resist him and he will flee from you.

Second, when you confess your sins, God will forgive your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness. Many times you will confess your sins but you do not feel that you are forgiven. God never lies, so if He says he has forgiven you, then you are forgiven. It is your feelings that are lying to you.

Third, begin to eradicate the memory of it by speaking the Word. Do what Jesus did. Say, “It is written …” and say what God has to say about it. Find verses in the bible that addresses your situation and say those verses out loud. Do not just read them, say them out load. Your words are more powerful than your thoughts.

You have to do this aggressively. You cannot just sit there and let your thoughts control you. You may have to say it and say it and say it. You can rid yourself of the thoughts of past sins and of those old hurts you have had with people, but you must take action.

Train yourself to control your thoughts and take a step toward a more victorious life.

Have we forgotten how to be grateful? Maybe you are asking, “What do I have to be grateful for?” Be grateful for the small things in life. If you ate breakfast this morning you are better off than the 800 million people worldwide who will go hungry today.

Most of us underestimate the power of gratitude. As we constantly strive to add more and more to our lives it is easy to forget about being grateful for things and talents we already possess. Making gratitude a habit will enrich your whole outlook on life, even in the most turbulent circumstances.

What we focus on grows. The more we focus on what we appreciate, the more we will have to appreciate!

Gratitude is a learned skill that must be practiced daily to develop its full potential. Practicing gratitude does not require elaborate rituals or a huge amount of spiritual awareness; simply taking a few moments to note every time something goes right is enough.

At first this may take a conscious effort, but as the habit takes root, seeing things to be thankful for becomes as natural as breathing.

Although grateful people tend to be happier people, being grateful is not the same as being happy. When life is turning out all wrong, being grateful allows you to focus on that ray of sunshine coming through. It allows you to take an honest look at a situation and say, “even in this there is reason to hope.”

Do not confuse being grateful with settling for less. Gratitude should never interfere with your efforts to improve and grow. Expressing gratitude simply gives you a better outlook on life, making it easier to attract the true happiness you deserve. By focusing attention on what is going right, more things work out for the best.

Be grateful even for the trials in life. Your trials are what made you the person you are today. It is those very same trials that made you strong enough to cope with the difficulties in life.

A big problem in today’s world is that we have been conditioned to think we have to live a certain way, look a certain way and have certain things just to maintain a status quo. If we don’t then we should be dissatisfied. While dissatisfaction can be a great motivator, without action or personal effort it only leads to frustration, anger and bitterness.

Grateful people have a way of looking at the misfortunes and failures in their lives and turning them into opportunities. These opportunities may not be readily apparent at first, but when the pain and frustration have passed, there they are. Every cloud has a silver lining if only we take the time to look.

You don’t have to wait for good things to occur to express gratitude. Gratitude does not mean jumping for joy about everything in your life, but rather, that you see and take note of whatever is put before you. It means taking advantage of every opportunity that comes your way, whether presented as fortune or misfortune.

Enhance your life. Take a few moments right now and actively notice things you can be grateful for.

Life gives us many opportunities to improve, but whether we do or not depends on our effort. Once a week a person should sit down and examine the progress he/she has made towards achieving a set goal. If goals have not been reached then honest examination must be undertaken to discover the reasons why. This must be followed by extra determination that these goals will be met next time.

Do not worry or become stressed if you do not always achieve your goals, remember you’re only human. However it is imperative that you dissect why you failed, were they genuine reasons beyond your control or simply excuses? If the answer turns out to be excuses then double your resolve and effort that they will not stand in your way the next time.

Always remember that the harder the goal you set yourself the greater the reward, not just in reaching the goal but in personal development and inner belief, making the next goal you set yourself that little bit easier. Do not be afraid of hard goals as these will bring you more reward than half a dozen smaller triumphs.

Too many people who fail when trying to achieve a goal become defeated and believe they just do not have what it takes. Nothing could be further from the truth. What they do not understand, or have not fully grasped, is that all they need is to instill within themselves a little extra determination, an honesty with themselves why they failed, and then to have another go.

The secret to success is to always try to improve yourself – no matter what life may throw in your path. Sure, there will be obstacles, however, do not view them as insurmountable, be gritty and work around or over them. Everyone really wants to do something, but there are few that will put forward the needed effort to make the necessary sacrifice to secure it. There is only one way to accomplish anything and that is to go ahead and do it. A person may accomplish almost anything if they just set their hearts on doing it and let nothing interfere with progress. The “bigger” the person the smaller the obstacle appears. The “smaller” the man the greater the obstacle appears. Always look at the advantages you gain by overcoming obstacles, and it will give you the needed courage for their conquest. Look back at obstacles you have overcome and realize that the present obstacle will soon be added to the list.

Winston Churchill summed up all the above in two sentences:

“Never give in — never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”