One of the biggest problems today is that most people are not happy.
We look for external stimuli to make us happy. We expect our significant other to make us happy and divorce her or him when they do not. We expect our children to fulfill our dreams for us and are disappointed in them when they do not. We expect money to solve all our problems and make us happy, then, we can’t understand why it doesn’t once we have it.
How many times have you heard someone say, “I will be happy when…”?
I will be happy, once I am married.
I will be happy, when I get a promotion.
I will be happy, when my children are grown and I’ll have more time for myself.
Pages and pages of examples could be given.
Another way to view this statement is, “I will do this, when that happens.” Have you ever made that type of statement? I hear people say it all the time. You are making your happiness contingent upon an external event.
Happiness is not an external thing. Even once you have something external, the happiness it brings you is short-lived. For example:
You have waited for that special relationship. The significant other is great, but you still have a negative attitude. You were happy during the initial stages, but now it seems routine.
You have always known that a promotion would get that new home for which you and your spouse have been waiting. You got the promotion, the money is great, and you buy that home. After the beginning the excitement wears off, things go back to the same routine, just in a different house. Your happiness falls back to your previous feeling before the promotion.
You and your spouse knows that you will be happy, once the children are grown. You will not have to work so hard to provide for the family, and you will have more time to enjoy your relationship and home. Well, the children have grown up, but they can’t afford to live on their own. The children are still living at home…for free!
Look at all the time in the examples above that people wasted not being happy! Then, when they got what they were waiting for, the happiness was fleeting. Again, it’s because happiness cannot be gained from anything external.
THE SECRET TO BEING HAPPY
It’s incredible how many books have been written on the topic of being happy. Yet, so many people are not. Do they not read the books? There are people who read such books all the time and are still not happy.
With so many unhappy people in the world, being happy must be an extremely difficult thing to achieve.
Haven’t you known or met that person who always has a great smile on their face, a smile in their voice, and a skip in their step? You want that too…don’t you?
So what is the secret to finding happiness?
Believe it or not, the secret is known!
It is easy to do - no complicated actions.
It is quick to do - no long-term procedures.
You can do it anywhere - no special requirements or equipment are needed.
Anyone can do it!
The secret?
Determine yourself to be happy!
It’s an internal process.
True happiness that lasts is an internal process. Nothing from outsideĀ can make you happy or unhappy. As in any situation, your reaction determines whether the event is stressful for you or not. It is the same with happiness.
If upon waking each morning, you state strongly to yourself, “I am happy today”, then you will be. Whenever you encounter stress, just mentally reaffirm, “I am happy today”, the stress will be there, but your reaction will be minimal.
That person who always wears a smile and has a skip in his step, seldom experiences stress the same way you do. He is happy, and being happy allows the stress to roll off his back better.
So, make your determination every morning.
Tape affirmations that say, “I am happy today” all over your home and at work.
Say it aloud to yourself often throughout the day, especially on those days with many problems. Continue to say it, until you believe it.
Then, put a smile on your face and confront the outside world. When you are happy, you have the world in your hands!
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Great article! I so agree: happiness doesn’t happen later, it happens now, and it’s rather a state of mind in which we decide to be happy with what is just now. There are always reasons to wait for happiness to happen later - you gave a few good examples above. The truth is, we can waste our whole lives waiting… happiness is now!
Have a great day!
Cris