Critical darts. At some point in our lives, every Christian, in fact every person has to deal with criticism. You may feel as though you have been placed on a dartboard and everyone is taking turns throwing the darts at you.

Why do people feel the need to criticize? Many people criticize because they feel a loss of control. They would rather do a task wrong than to do it someone else way.

In Neh:4, we read that Nehamiah has taken on the task of rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem. When Sanballet heard this, he immediately began criticizing. “Tobiah the Ammonite, who was at his side, said, “What they are building–if even a fox climbed up on it, he would break down their wall of stones!” (NEH 4:3)

How do you feel when you are criticized? Angry? Depressed? Betrayed? Not everyone feels the same way. More than that, how do you respond? How is your Temper?  Do you react with Violence?

Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” How you respond to criticism tells more about you than the critic. You should consider the possible influences that could be causing their behavior.

Unless you own your own business, you probably have had to deal with bosses at your job. While some are fair and reasonable, some seem to relish in ridicule and criticism. Have you ever considered why?

Perhaps they are feeling pressure from the top. Or maybe their personal lives are falling apart. Many times, the pursuit of advancement overcomes them and allows Satan to influence their behavior.

It is possible that they need your prayers instead of your anger. At the very least, you can help defuse a situation with a gentle answer instead of harsh words.

But what if the roles are reversed? Instead of being criticized, many of us become the critic, often without even realizing it.

In Matthew 27, when Jesus was brought before Pilate for judgment, he washed his hands of the responsibility because he found no evidence to convict Jesus (Matt 27:24). Yet Jesus was crucified anyway based on hearsay and false testimony.

Every human is a creation of God and deserves to be treated fairly. Before you spread that rumor criticizing someone, check out the facts first. Without doing so, you become no better than the ones who crucified Jesus.

Dealing with criticism is a two way street. Do not get caught going the wrong way.

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Going the extra mile means giving better service with a positive mental attitude above and beyond what is expected. This is an important principle of success in all walks of life and occupations.

NATURE ALWAYS GOES THE EXTRA MILE

Nature applies this principle in the production of foods that grow from the soil. The farmer is forced to go the extra mile, clearing the land, plowing it and planting the seed at the right time of the year.

He receives no pay in advance for his labor but he works in harmony with nature’s laws with the necessary requirements. Nature takes over and germinates the seed he plants and develops it into a crop of food.

For every grain of wheat or corn planted, nature yields hundreds of grains. Nature goes the extra mile by producing enough of every living thing to ensure the survival of the species. Nature discourages the habit of getting something for nothing!

IN THE ANIMAL WORLD THERE IS NO FREE LUNCH

Animals in the wild must either forage for leaves and berries or hunt down their prey to survive. Nature supplies the source of food for every living thing but every creature must WORK to obtain that food.

GOING THE EXTRA MILE IN THE WORKPLACE

An efficient and courteous server in a restaurant is a prime
example of going the extra mile. Most people will notice the extra attention along with good service and leave a generous tip. Anyone may earn a living without going the extra mile but they will not enjoy the economic security and luxuries.

Colonel Sanders of ‘Kentucky Fried Chicken’ fame pitched his famous recipe over a thousand times before it was picked up and promoted. We all know the rest of the story! Had he given up at any time he would have been stuck with his minimal monthly pension. The Colonel proved that going the extra mile with a positive mental attitude will help anyone achieve their goals.

ADVANTAGES OF GOING THE EXTRA MILE

Job security when employment is scarce

Extra compensation for services rendered

Builds a positive mental attitude

Develops personal initiative

Has a positive effect on co-workers and employees

Helps to develop a definite purpose

Creates a sense of direction in life

Prevents procrastination

Helps to keep a clear conscience

Stimulates the soul

So if you go the extra mile and make it a daily habit you will stand out in a crowd and enjoy endless success for the rest of your life!

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Self-confidence is a general and realistic belief in one’s own abilities. Self-confident people trust in their own ability to achieve goals that they plan and set out to achieve. This belief needs to be realistic. Self-confidence does not mean that an individual can achieve anything and everything, even absurd goals. It simply means that the person will have a sense of control over his own destiny, a positive frame of mind and is likely to make the best use of his talents and skills in achieving positive outcomes.

Achieving self-confidence is a fine balance. Lack of self-confidence or under-confidence will result in an individual doubting his abilities. Such people seek the approval of others for reassurance. They believe they have to conform to the expectations of others to fit in and be accepted. They will tend to avoid taking risks for fear of failure. They expect to fail and this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy!

Under-confident people tend to under-achieve since they have a low estimation of their abilities and therefore will not push their boundaries to achieve their best. They also tend to play down their abilities and is often uncomfortable dealing with compliments - usually discounting them.

On the other hand over confidence is not desirable either, as such individuals may tend to have unrealistically high expectations and beliefs in their abilities and therefore take unwarranted risks.

Self-confidence is not necessarily all-pervasive. An individual who is completely comfortable and confident in one area of activity, say his work or profession may lack confidence in other areas such as social situations.

What factors contribute to lack of confidence?

Lack of confidence is often the result of unrealistic expectations. Constantly aiming for perfection is a certain recipe for failure that reinforces feelings of inadequacy. Children who grow up in excessively protective environments and are not allowed to develop their independence may tend to be less confident than others who are allowed to develop their own abilities and self-reliance. Similarly over critical and demanding parents may undermine a child’s self-confidence and cause them to continually doubt their abilities even in adult life.

What steps can be taken to improve self-confidence?

Low self-esteem and low self-confidence are perpetuated by unhelpful and often destructive thought patterns. Self-confidence may be improved by identifying the offending thinking habits and taking steps to correct them. For instance seeking acceptance and approval from everyone may be an unrealistic expectation. The fact is that in day-to-day life one will encounter people that will never approve of every aspect of your life. It is far more beneficial to set personal standards which are not dependent on the approval of others.

Under confident people are quite often their own worst critics. They are quick to brand themselves failures at the slightest obstacle. It is important to remember that even the most successful people encounter setbacks. What sets them apart is how they deal with that setback and venture into the future. A setback or failure in the past need not dictate the course of your entire future. However, if at the first sign of failure you label yourself a total failure, chances are that’s exactly what you will be! Evaluate your expectations - Are they realistic? Don’t be overly critical of yourself. Refuse to accept the criticisms of others where it is unrealistic.

Give yourself credit for what you do achieve rather than focusing solely on the negatives. Resist the temptation to magnify negative outcomes out of proportion while minimizing positives.

Persons with low self-esteem avoid risks and may therefore never truly find out what they are capable of. Taking calculated risks can broaden one’s horizons and help to gain greater self-awareness and acceptance.

Evaluate your standards - substitute more reasonable expectations for perfectionist targets that are bound for failure. Build up to more challenging targets as your confidence grows.

Self-consciousness is a major hurdle to self-confidence especially in social situations. Diverting attention away from you can help to diffuse this situation. Keeping yourself occupied with other activities or focusing on the purpose of the social encounter and engaging your mind on furthering that social purpose can achieve this. Not having enough to keep your mind occupied is guaranteed to produce feelings of self-consciousness leading to feelings of anxiety, inadequacy and lack of confidence.

These are just a few steps that may be taken to improve levels of self-confidence. Clearly it is just the tip of a very large iceberg and the most appropriate measures would of course need to be determined by individual circumstances.

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Why should you want to control your thoughts? As the old adage goes, you are what you think. If you cannot control your thoughts, your thoughts will control you.

When other people say things that bring a negative thought into your head, you need to control whether you let it stay there. If you don’t have that control, your brain will start to build other thoughts off of that initial thought; whether it was true or not.

How do you start controlling your thoughts? First of all you need to know that it is possible. Next, if you have a thought that you should not keep, do not talk about that thought. Proverbs 30:32 says, “If thou hast done foolishly in lifting up thyself, or if thou hast thought evil, lay thine hand upon thy mouth.” Saying something about that thought only reinforces it.

You need to rebuke the thought and tell it to go away. That’s easier said than done, especially if you are not in the habit of doing it.

The bible calls this casting down our thoughts. 2Co 10:5 says, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ”. God would not tell us to do something that we could not do. We need to ask Him for help when it comes to doing this. We also need to be persistent. At the beginning we may need to do this many times.

After casting down those thoughts we need to replace them with correct thoughts. In Php 4:8 it says, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

When someone has said something against you that has made you mad, you need to pray for them. This will get your focus off of yourself and onto what God wants you to do.

Once you have successfully controlled your thoughts for a while, it will become easier. You will be able to look back on past victories and that will help you through your current situation.

Don’t give in to your negative thoughts. They will destroy you. Cast them out. Replace them with what God wants you to think about. Make this a habit and your life will definitely improve.

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During our lifetime, our triumphs and achievements are tempered by our failures and disappointments. Everything in our life has its seasons. And as the song reminds us, “… along with the sunshine, there must be a little rain sometimes …”

Our faith and belief in Jesus Christ is not tested when we march along life’s victory path, basking in the accolades of our fellowmen, but it can be severely dented when we are at the receiving end of life’s blows.

At these moments, when we touch the troughs in life’s ocean, it is essential to hold fast to our faith and belief, and not walk away from our failures and disappointments, like the two followers of Jesus on the road to Emmaus.

On the very day of Christ’s victory over death, these two persons walked away from Jerusalem, the scene of His crucifixion, an event that put to rest their ill-conceived hopes of Israel’s freedom from the Roman yoke (Lk 24 : 21). They believed in Jesus, but they could not accept His resurrection, and certain other things foretold in the Scriptures.

In times of defeats, failures and disappointments, most of us fail to rise above our hurts, pain and tears, to be aware that Jesus is still with us. Like the two on the road to Emmaus, we still believe in Jesus, but our faith is weakened so much by our failures and disappointments that we fail to recognize Him (Lk 24 : 16).

It was only when Jesus explained to His two followers what the Scriptures said about Him, right from the beginning of time (Genesis), that their eyes were opened, they recognized Him, and immediately returned to Jerusalem, to rejoin the disciples gathered there (Lk 24 : 31 - 33).

Therefore, when failures and disappointments come our way, we need to increase our faith and belief by turning to the Scriptures. The Word of God will ignite a fire within us, to increase our spirituality to a level that allows us to recognize Jesus totally in our life, and cry out to Him for help.

Although He knows our problems, the Lord never forces Himself upon us. On reaching Emmaus, Jesus indicated that He was going farther, but remained with His followers only because they insisted on His company (Lk 24 : 28 - 29).

The Lord waits for us to ask Him to solve our problems, and only when we place them totally into His hands does He respond instantly to mitigate our failures and disappointments.

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Many believe since God is Sovereign then everything that happens is His will. That is not the case. An accurate statement is that things will happen as He says they will happen. Look at the following verse.

I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:
(Deuteronomy 30:19)

When you choose life you get the blessing and when you choose death you get the cursing. The bad things that happen which include accidents, sickness and even weather calamities are a result of people choosing death.

How do you choose life? You first begin with the big choice which determines your final destiny, heaven or hell. You accept Jesus as your personal Savior and make Him the Lord of your life.

But it doesn’t stop there. God has a plan for your life and it is a good one. You need to follow His plan and his direction day by day, hour by hour and moment by moment.

Let us look to the Bible to determine if God’s plan for you is good.

If you really want to see the good that God had planned for man you just need to read the first several chapters of the Bible. In chapter one of Genesis, it talks about the creation. When God created light He said it was good. When He created all of the trees and herbs He said it was good. When He created all of the birds, animals and fish He said it was good.

When God created man, male and female, He blessed them and told them to be fruitful, to multiply, to subdue and to have dominion over the fish, the fowl and every living thing that moves on the earth.

When God saw the result of His creation He stated it was very good.

So what happened? Adam disobeyed God and death entered into the earth. But there is good news. God is still good. God kicked in His plan for redemption. God never stops doing good. He continually provides a way for man to enter into His blessings. He gave the law so man would know what to do and what not to do. The choice, though, is still with man.

The more you obey God the easier it becomes to hear from God. Reading the Bible daily and doing what it says to do is the first step. Then, as God directs you personally on a day to day basis, you will be in a better position to hear what he has to say. Then you need to obey what He says to do. As you listen and obey, God will direct you away from accidents and calamities. He will tell you what foods to eat and what to stay away from. He will lead you toward His blessings.

The closer you get to God, the more you will see the goodness of God in your life.

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The same way that not doing physical exercise will cause your body to get out of shape, not doing spiritual exercise will cause your spirit to get out of shape. It is easy to let the day to day concerns fill up your life and take away from the time you need to stay spiritually fit. Here are some things to do to help you to get back into spiritual shape.

1. Study the Word
There are many places in the Bible where it says to continuously study the Word. Phrases such as “Study to show thyself approved unto God” and “in his law doth he meditate day and night” tells us this. We need to stay constantly in God’s Word so we can avoid the ups and downs that most people go through. This does not mean you will not have trials, but you will be in contact with God who knows what you should do to go through those trials. This leads into step 2.

2. Endure Hardship
When you do have trials, get tough. Read the Bible more, not less. Pray more, not less. Shout more words of victory, not words of defeat. This is when you need to keep up your shield of faith. Keep trusting in God’s Word. He will pull you through.

3. Be Strong in the Grace of God
It has been said that grace is God’s unmerited favor or God not giving to us what we deserve. This is part of it but there is a lot more to it. Titus 2:11-12 says that grace has appeared to all men teaching us that we should deny ungodliness and live soberly, righteously in this world. So, at the same time God is not punishing us for what we have done wrong, He is teaching us what we should be doing. To know what God is saying to us, though, we need to be listening to Him. Spend some time each day praying and listening to God for instructions for the day.

4. Simplify Your Life
There are many things that take up our time including work, school, extracurricular activities, family time and many other activities. These activities may not be bad things but if they take up so much of your time that you do not have time for God, then you need to make some adjustments. You need to have time each day to pray and read your Bible so God can speak to you and direct you.

5. Fellowship
The people you fellowship with will determine whether you are lifted up or pulled down. You need to fellowship with people who trust God. That will build you up and help you to stay close to God.
If you spend more time with people who do not know God, they will drag you down. This does not mean you are to isolate yourself from the world, but you need to make sure you spend enough time with God and those who know God so you can lift up others without being dragged down.

6. Continue On
Now that you have started on the path to spiritual fitness, you need to keep on. Do not give in to temptations to quit. Continue doing what you know to do. The result will be a life overcoming those things that come against you and living a victorious life.

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Just as willpower is an essential factor in achieving success, at some point in time, discouragement and lack of motivation may hinder you from reaching your objective. And it is up to you, and you alone to devise techniques that will help you keep that drive within afire.

It is helpful to have visual goals. whatsoever that is you are working towards, make it visual. It maybe something material like a car, or a vacation you have been looking forward to for the longest time.

Take or cut out a picture of it and post it at a conspicuous place at work or at home where you can see it often. So that when you feel discouraged, this will remind you of your goal and will help you keep your spotlight.

Make a contract with oneself. According to motivational researches, people who write down to-do-lists are far more triumphant in achieving their intended goals than those people who just keep mental lists instead.

Putting something in writing somehow makes it more powerful psychologically speaking. This may also be the basis why most cultures have such a high regard in honoring contracts. In the contract, you may also include a certain reward that you will give yourself once you have accomplished the task.

After all, everyone likes to be rewarded for completing a good job. Even a simple pat on the back, “good job”, or “thank you” may do the trick to give the person the additional push to carry on, but unfortunately, these may not always be readily available. Considering that these are also essential in keeping oneself motivated, you must learn to find a way to get that encouragement on your own through pleasing yourself.

Abusive people lower your self-esteem and bring you down. Get these negative people out of your life. Surround yourself with positive people. Imitate their example. Smile amply and think happy thoughts.

These will give you a brighter outlook and lets you see a clearer picture of what you really want and a fresh mind to know what steps to take to get there. Rather than wait for things to happen, try to be proactive and MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. Inactivity idles the brain and stagnates your potential to reach your goals.

Read inspirational books and literature. These will help you improve your attitude and heal your mind. A book of success stories also proves to be encouraging. You will not only learn from others’ experiences and derive confidence boosting insights from them but the story will be instrumental in motivating you to go for your goal and move ahead with your plans. If this still seems to falter, get training or education.

Oftentimes, not knowing how or where to start is frustrating. Knowledge is power. Having a clear understanding of how and where to start is empowering and it will provide the extra drive needed to hit the mark you are aiming at and follow it through.

Having enumerated all these tips and tricks to attain self-motivation, but still you seem to feel lacking that much needed drive, there is one last thing that you must try.

Whatever it is that you have been meaning to do, or wanting to achieve, JUST DO IT! Keep on aiming high and go for it! Actually getting your hands dirty best solves the problem of motivation. By “forcing” yourself to just do it, your momentum will pick up gradually as you go along and before you know it you have finished the task or have finally achieved your goal. Divide and conquer is the key.

Break down the apparently unattainable activity to small doable steps. Not only does it become less overwhelming, but seeing the “in the meantime” results will further your confidence that it can indeed be done.

Lack of motivation happens to us all, but if you do not encourage yourself to accept opportunities and be challenged, no one else will. It is most important to keep your eye on the goal, find ways to keep going, and in no time, you shall reap its benefits.

And if at the beginning you were just doing it for the material reward, you will also learn to realize that the fulfillment, satisfaction and self-achievement you derive from reaching your goal is a much enjoyable high that will keep the drive within constantly burning.

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I am going to ask you to do something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive, or negative?

Now let’s say you are walking down the street with these thoughts. Do you think anyone who would meet you would be able to tell you what’s on your mind?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here’s another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too – unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn’t end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.

A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others are around feel the same way.

A negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to feature healthy thoughts. This is probably very hard to do nowadays since, all around us, the media feeds us nothing but negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a saddening thought.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things, the positive things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say a word.
If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention. Before you get me wrong, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong itself. But dwelling on these thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome.

You do not have anything to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what’s not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.

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Don’t be afraid of change. Change is good. You are going to go through so many changes in this lifetime. Accept this as a fact. Don’t be resistant to change. Embrace it.

God is actively involved in these changes and is with you every step of the way.

Your life today is different than your life was yesterday. Your life tomorrow will be different than today.

Take a moment to think about how different your life is today compared to 5 years ago.

God shows us that if we don’t change, we don’t reverence Him. As we grow in our relationship with God, we will deepen in our reverence, adoration, respect and worship of Him. We will grow to respect the boundaries to life that God lays out in the Bible. God wants you to change.

* Because they did not change, therefore they do not fear God. Psalm 55:19 (NKJV)

God is actively at work in completing the work that He has begun in you. This is going to require change.

* Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6 (NKJV)

We are going to go through so many things in this lifetime. Life is constantly throwing curve balls at us. But, we can be confident that there is a purpose in everything that we are experiencing.

God promises that everything, whether good or bad, works together for good.

* And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Romans 8:28-29 (NKJV)

The big change comes after we die. We are actually given a completely new body in Heaven.

* For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself. Philippians 3:20-21 (NKJV)

Isn’t it going to be amazing when we are in Heaven with Jesus with our new bodies?

Take a few minutes to reflect on all the changes that you have gone through in this lifetime. Now, spend a few minutes thinking about how life will be with Jesus in Heaven with our completely new heavenly bodies!

Embrace change knowing that one day you will be completely changed and living in Heaven for eternity with Jesus.

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